i think i have herpe
just one?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
