Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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