Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
