Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
