We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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