Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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