Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
