The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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