I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
