How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So many bounce houses so little time
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
