He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
