Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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