THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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