i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
