eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
