There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
