R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
