omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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