I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
