we have officially lost it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
