I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize