You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
