Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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