dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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