Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
