The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I forget how to act sober
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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