My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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