Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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