Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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