i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Mom said you looked used
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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