a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
