They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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