Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
