apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
