dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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