Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
