That's intense
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
