he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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