I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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