I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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