As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
