Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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