White coat. Heels.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
