Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize