We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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