next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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