I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
