so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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