You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
