Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
