How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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