hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
