I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
