I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
