you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
