Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
