my mouth tastes like poor choices
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
