Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
