erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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